Do you every want to just kick yourself for not listening to bits of advice. The worst is when they come from yourself; when you have been “in it” and been working through stuff and finally have something of a “ah-ha” moment. Yes, especially these moments recorded with ink and paper. It’s having an “ah-” cut off by the realization that you’ve already had this realization, and there it sits blandly looking up at you.
Radical new epiphany? No, just me moving in a circle--that is, if there’s been any movement at all. Honestly, it’s weird that I often think the me of the past is wiser than the me of the now; but the pressure is relieved when we put all of it on the idolized, golden me of the future. WAKE UP! This is here, you are now. I need to be fully here, where ever here may be at that moment; or perhaps I need to be fully in the moment, each moment.
A recent theme has been “just do it”, not nike athletic themes, but the theme of quit sitting or standing, metaphorically and literally, and DO--move, walk, sprint, run, participate. Today I read a book titled “The Perks of Being a Wallflower”. A particular conversation between two of the characters stood out:
“Do you always think this much, Charlie?”
“Is that bad?” I just wanted someone to tell me the truth.
“Not necessarily. It’s just that sometimes people use thought to not participate in life.”
“Is that bad?”
“Yes.”
I want to participate and I want to be here. Those are two things I realized earlier this year that I needed to do, but then somehow I forgot. I definitely regret not learning these lessons, if you will, and wonder how things could have been if I had. How would I be? Who would I be? But I have decided not to should, would, or could on myself ever (perhaps another lesson would be to more graciously extend this same courtesy to others) therefore I need to stop dwelling and thinking after I have processed and DO: dive in and participate here where I am now. God willing, may this lesson finally begin to permeate and affect me for real.
Radical new epiphany? No, just me moving in a circle--that is, if there’s been any movement at all. Honestly, it’s weird that I often think the me of the past is wiser than the me of the now; but the pressure is relieved when we put all of it on the idolized, golden me of the future. WAKE UP! This is here, you are now. I need to be fully here, where ever here may be at that moment; or perhaps I need to be fully in the moment, each moment.
A recent theme has been “just do it”, not nike athletic themes, but the theme of quit sitting or standing, metaphorically and literally, and DO--move, walk, sprint, run, participate. Today I read a book titled “The Perks of Being a Wallflower”. A particular conversation between two of the characters stood out:
“Do you always think this much, Charlie?”
“Is that bad?” I just wanted someone to tell me the truth.
“Not necessarily. It’s just that sometimes people use thought to not participate in life.”
“Is that bad?”
“Yes.”
I want to participate and I want to be here. Those are two things I realized earlier this year that I needed to do, but then somehow I forgot. I definitely regret not learning these lessons, if you will, and wonder how things could have been if I had. How would I be? Who would I be? But I have decided not to should, would, or could on myself ever (perhaps another lesson would be to more graciously extend this same courtesy to others) therefore I need to stop dwelling and thinking after I have processed and DO: dive in and participate here where I am now. God willing, may this lesson finally begin to permeate and affect me for real.
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